--- title: "When Everyone Else Seems to be Moving Forward: Understanding Self in Context" type: "post" post_id: "1589" slug: "when-everyone-else-seems-to-be-moving-forward-understanding-self-in-context" canonical: "https://bluerockpsychology.ca/when-everyone-else-seems-to-be-moving-forward-understanding-self-in-context/" markdown_url: "https://bluerockpsychology.ca/when-everyone-else-seems-to-be-moving-forward-understanding-self-in-context.md" json_url: "https://bluerockpsychology.ca/when-everyone-else-seems-to-be-moving-forward-understanding-self-in-context.json" txt_url: "https://bluerockpsychology.ca/when-everyone-else-seems-to-be-moving-forward-understanding-self-in-context.txt" published: "2026-09-02T05:42:43+00:00" modified: "2026-09-02T05:50:17+00:00" author: "jpurnell" categories: - "Belonging" - "Connection" - "Personal Growth" - "Self-Worth" tags: site_name: "Blue Rock Psychology" publisher: "" language: "en-US" generator: "easyPress Markdown" generator_version: "1.0.6" --- September often brings new change; back to school, re-establishing routines, and prioritizing productivity after the summer months. When we look online, we often see that someone is starting a business, a friend was promoted, a couple you know just got engaged, a family member just bought a house, or an old friend just completed their first marathon. The highlight reel of social media perpetuates the idea that there is always another task, another piece of the puzzle you haven’t filled in, and another person you are behind. This has the potential to create a cyclic pattern; the more we compare ourselves to others on social media, the less satisfaction we feel (Wirtz et al., 2021). Before we know it, we can be thinking what am I doing wrong? Why does everyone seem to already have it all figured out? ![Person looking at their phone and reflecting on how their life compares to others](https://bluerockpsychology.ca/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/person-looking-at-their-phone-and-reflecting-on-how-their-life-compares-to-others.jpeg "When Everyone Else Seems to be Moving Forward: Understanding Self in Context")It’s easy to say that “comparison is the thief of joy”, but how do we help ourselves from falling into it so easily? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Competition has the potential to fuel motivation but can also create the mindset that there is not enough success or resources to go around. This “scarcity mindset” has a direct impact on how we are able to set goals for ourselves and create change that is more central to our own needs and desires (Ren et al., 2024). It is also common to simultaneously experience excitement or pride with emotions such as jealousy or inferiority when learning about the successes of others. How we experience someone else’s accomplishments can feel different depending on whether or not we are with them as opposed to discovering the information online. Without having others present, we are more likely to attribute failure to ourselves (Wen, 2018). Due to the variability in how we interact with and compare ourselves to others, it can be helpful to take the time to check-in with ourselves and reflect on what thoughts and feelings are coming up in the moment. ![Writing reflective thoughts in a journal](https://bluerockpsychology.ca/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/writing-reflective-thoughts-in-a-journal.jpeg "When Everyone Else Seems to be Moving Forward: Understanding Self in Context")Points for reflection: ---------------------- - What does success look like to me? - When I look back on my personal/career development, what do I see? - What areas of my life do I want to pay the most attention to? - What assumptions could I be making about what I perceive about the success of others? - What are some realistic goals I can set to help me feel fulfilled? - How can I acknowledge and celebrate my achievements? Getting curious and finding what’s important can be invaluable in determining what changes can be made, and what can be let go of for now. Maybe you are currently prioritizing your career over a romantic relationship. Maybe a personal project has been where you have focused your time and attention recently. This doesn’t mean that you don’t care to fulfill these other pillars that you value, but rather that you are able to understand what’s right for you here and now. Instead of a life filled with impatient anticipation, understanding that life doesn’t happen all at once can become an exciting idea. **Carolyn Kesler, Registered Provisional Psychologist, Blue Rock Psychology** **If you’d like to learn more about working with Carolyn or another member of the [Blue Rock Psychology team](https://bluerockpsychology.ca/ourteam/), [reach out](https://bluerockpsychology.ca/contact/) to us at .** References ---------- Ren, M., Zou, S., Zhu, S., Shi, M., Li, W., & Ding, D. (2024). The effects of scarcity mindset on envy: The mediating role of the sense of control. *Current Psychology*, *43*(8), 7612-7627. Wen, S. (2018). The effect of result publicity on self-serving attributional bias—a social comparison perspective. *Frontiers of Business Research in China*, *12*(1), 7. Wirtz, D., Tucker, A., Briggs, C., & Schoemann, A. M. (2021). How and why social media affect subjective well-being: Multi-site use and social comparison as predictors of change across time. *Journal of Happiness studies*, *22*(4), 1673-1691.